Saturday, December 20, 2014

#TheVixen Remembers Our First Venture in Publishing #poetry #inspirational

Ho ho ho! We're celebrating the third anniversary of the first book we published here at Sassy Vixen Publishing. This collection of poetry detailed the author's journey to find her happily ever after.

Who is this author? It's me! The Vixen! 

That's right. For those of you who don't already know it, The Vixen is me, Tammy Dennings Maggy. There are a few other people in this wide web universe who call themselves Vixen, but this name has been mine since 2009. It was given to me by an old friend and it stuck. One of the poems in this collection has that name in it and it was in April 2012 when I rolled out the Sassy Vixen Publishing blog and in December 2012 I was a member of Four Seduced Muses as The Vixen.

Even though the four muses disbanded and went on to other projects and collaborations, I kept the moniker and continue to post as The Vixen in all of my blogs and those of my pen names. So if you see "The Vixen" anywhere else, look closely before you assume it's me. When in doubt, come back here to this blog or the website and you'll find out all the latest from me and my alter egos.

Back to the reason why we're here today...

Follow Me: Poetry from the Heart and Soul continues to touch hearts around the world. I had thought to take it off all other vendors and go exclusively with Amazon for the next three months so I could see how it would fair with the borrows in Kindle Unlimited, but then I looked at my stats for Oyster and Scribd and determined it wouldn't be worth it. Besides, this collection is only 99 cents. For a buck you can read all  about my journey through major life changes, heartbreak, betrayal and finding true love with my soul mate. 

I wrote like a mad woman during the two years leading up to the publication of this book. It was my salvation and escape from all the turmoil around me. I went through a divorce, reconnected with an old flame who then in turn committed the ultimate betrayal and left me with a heart I thought would never mend. I had hit rock bottom of the abyss.

When I thought there was no other way out, one person found me and lit the way so I could crawl my way up into the light again. He never pushed me, only encouraged me to keep fighting for my heart and soul. He never promised me he would fix everything or even try, but the simple act of being my friend and there if I needed him was enough. Through the struggle, we found love with each other...a love that had always been there and now is burning brighter every single day.

That's what it's like when you find your soul mate—the one you were promised to from the beginning of time.

Yeah, I know that sounds sappy to many of you, but it's the truth. It's the theme I have in all of my books...under all pen names. Whether it's the dark fantasy monster erotica I write as Tawny Savage, the romantic suspense from Stephanie Ryan, the wildly fabulous menage a quatre from Lia Michaels or the sizzling Now and Forever series as Tammy Dennings Maggy all will have soul mates find each other once they've found themselves again.

I've used the poems in this book as wedding vows in For the Love of Quinn and The Surrender of Julia. An entire series is devoted to this poem I wrote in the airport waiting for my flight home. Only four months prior, the old flame mentioned earlier in this post had broken his promises to me and went back to his on again, off again girlfriend. She had tossed him aside so many times before but when it looked like he had wanted to move on, she swooped in and dug her claws back into him. It didn't matter that she would dump him again at the time this poem was written. It didn't matter that he came crawling back into my life and continued to drain me of my self worth and confidence. He still continued to keep her in his life.

The Vixen, The Witch and The Daemon

Here is the tale of two Witches: one Dark and one of the Light
Both vying for the heart of the one called The Daemon.
Who he chooses in the end will determine his ultimate fate:
Be lost forever to the Evil One in the Dark
Or be reborn again into a love that burns forever bright.

The flame-haired Witchy One with eyes of jade
Cast her spell to control the Mighty Daemon.
Using Dark Magic she transforms herself
Into someone familiar he could not resist
But different enough so he could not see the trick.
Her spell only lasts just so long
But no matter.  
Alcohol helps to hide the truth:
She is only using him and relishes in the torture
Of his heart and soul.
The more he is in pain, the more her
Black heart beats with delight.

She demands his undivided attention. 
Isolates him from all he loves 
And all he knows: children, family and friends.
This occupies her days and her nights
Until something else comes along to distract her.
Then she casually tosses him out into the cold
Lost and alone…
No where to go.
So easy for his Dark Side 
To emerge and take control.

The Daemon is lost once again.
Forever searching for the one who calms 
His mind and his soul.
The one who helps him forget 
The Darkness that is waiting to take him back
To the hell he endured before…
Made him the killing machine in the Great War.

Lady Fate steps in once again, 
Angry that someone has dared 
To interfere with her plan.
She distracts the Witchy One 
With the very lust and selfishness that 
Give her spells their power…
Only if The Daemon drowns himself with the spirit
Of the vine and of the grain will the spells endure.
The Lady does all that she can to temper his thirst
But that is one desire she cannot control.
The Evil One laughs at her attempts
But she succeeds enough to give her Champion
A fighting chance.

The Vixen’s inner fire burns bright
With the help of the Goddess Fate.
It calls The Daemon home once again.
This time he clearly sees and is drawn to it
Like a moth to a flame.
He is surprised at who he finds 
At the end of the light.
She was once not The Vixen
But long ago was another: shy, sweet and innocent.
The Love he feels for her now bursts forth
Reminding him of innocence lost…
The One he used to be when near her…
The One he locked away when he thought he lost her.
But here she was once again…
Able to break the spell cast by the Dark Witch.
Vixen’s magick, strong and bright
Cleanses his soul and it all feels right.
No longer alone.
He is finally home.

But the Evil One wanted The Daemon to fall, 
To be back under his complete control.  
He sent his Minion Witchy One on another mission
To do his bidding.
In return she would get everlasting youth:
Her hearts desire and only wish.
She could care less where The Daemon ended up
As long as she could stay anything but sober…
As long as she kept getting what she wanted…
She would deliver The Daemon on a silver platter: 
Whole or in pieces.

The Goddess’s Champion Vixen was heartbroken and lost.
A love that burned forever bright tossed aside
But she was not allowed to be free.
How could this be?
The Daemon still clung to her
Wishing for a life filled with love and peace…
Still unable to break free of the Black Magick 
That bound his soul.

The Vixen allowed him to hold on 
At the cost of her sanity.
This delighted the Evil One.
He wanted to hurt her as well…
Afraid of her Light and Magick of Old.
For she was more powerful than any realized…
Save the Goddess Lady Fate.
 The Vixen was to save the Daemon
From the torture he had always endured.
She was to wipe away the glamour
That the Green-eyed Witch had cast
So he could finally see:
The evil, twisted being he had thought he loved
Was all an illusion…
A Dark Magick creation.

It’s never too late to turn and follow the Light.
Many others are drawn to The Vixen’s beacon…
Taking them away from the Evil One…
All falling for and offering their love
To Lady Fate’s Champion.
But The Vixen with eyes the color of the ocean
And hair kissed by the Sun, 
Forever burns for The Daemon…
Steadfast and true…
With a love that has endured through 
All the pain and sorrow, 
Through heartbreak and rebirth
Through a thousand and one lifetimes.

The Daemon’s eyes are now fully open.
He is finally free of the Darkness 
That has gripped his soul.
He now knows what his heart has known all along.
It has and will always be
The Vixen
Who’s love would set him free.

©Tammy Dennings Maggy
12:05pm 2/26/2011
Las Vegas

Before you ask, no the old flame never broke free of the witch even though she continued to turn on him again and again. How did he get through all of her betrayals? He kept reaching out to me and pulling me back down into the despair that clouded his world. Here's another poem in this collection that begs him to make up his mind.

Why Can’t You Let Me Go?

Why do you hang onto my heart
Even though it can’t take another blow.
You say you love another so
Why can’t you let me go?

You choose someone else to be by your side,
And to me this is nothing new.
Yet you still cling to me and what we could have had
When more often than not
She leaves you sad and blue.

Once again you claim you love me
And with the other one you are through.
 But within a matter of hours
She’s back in your bed…
Proving once again to me
That you’ve lied and messed with my head.

Why can’t you let me go?
You still find ways to keep in touch
But no one else can know.
You claim to the world
you are with the one you love
And no one else will do.
 But you still keep our bond a secret;
Making sure she doesn’t get suspicious
Or have a clue.

Why can’t you let me go?
Stop promising me our time will come.
You have no intention of leaving her,
But you keep pulling me close
And then brutally tossing me aside
After promising me
That I am the one always on your mind.

Why can’t you let me go?
There are so many more questions
You left unanswered and I need to know.
What did I do to deserve this emotional blackmail?
Where along the way did I fail?
I trusted you with deep heart wrenching secrets
That I had locked away and thrown away the key.
I let you in, bared my heart and soul
And for a while I truly felt
Like I had been set free.

Free to finally love the man
Who held my heart for all of these years.
But I was wrong to trust you…
Because all I have left from you
Are pain and tears.

Why won’t you let me go?
You told me you never would hurt me like this…
And yet you continue to do so
With each passing day.
You won’t let me have peace.
You never let me have my say.

Why won’t you let me go?
If the love you feel for the Witchy One
Is so strong and true,
Why did you work so hard to make me believe
When you said “Vixen, I will always love you.”

Why can’t you let me go?
Is it because you know we are meant to be?
Are you afraid of losing the chance
To finally be happy with the one
Who has loved you from afar?
Or is it just a game
To keep me chasing after you,
Waiting for you to call while you are out
With her at the local bar?

Why can’t you let me go?
My heart needs to be able to mend.
By holding on like this
You are not acting like my friend.

Why won’t you let me go?
If you are done with me
Stay away.
Stop pulling me into the drama.
Maybe it’s time you did some soul searching
And decide whether or not
You should believe in Karma.

Why can’t you let me go?
The answer is plain to see.
Your heart won’t let you be at peace with her
Because it knows you long to be with me.

©Tammy Dennings Maggy

So what happened? Did he let me go or keep trying to have his cake and eat it too?

For the answers to those questions and many more, you'll have to read the poems. Follow along as I work through it all to finally end up with the man I had dreamed of since I was a little girl.

Follow me...